‘Quills’

I saw Quills last night, I thought it was a beautiful film. Although incredibly tragic, in some way you hoped that it would end that way because you just know it will make the movie.
I was heartbroken at the end, but moved by the way it could carry on, one mans dream for erotic literature.

So past the film, I’m just going to blubber out my deep most feelings because I am sick of holding them ransom.

I’m tired, and sad, and lets face it lonely in a willing way. All three are the choices I’ve made, therefore I can only be to blame for my misery. I don’t let myself mingle with people, I can’t face it. I just want to stay home, inside my bedroom and sit in front of my birds and watch them all day. 80% of me just wants to be left completely alone to venture in the wilderness in my own head. It’s always going to be like that for me, I see things differently than most people do. I don’t see the beauty in making magnificent creations that will hopefully make our days easier to operate, in fact I long for the ability to work to make things work. I don’t want to just get in my oil filled car and drive off to a place where I will be thinking of comitting suicide 100% of the time. The purpose to make money to pay for power, to buy food, basically to live.
In a way, people still do things the same in a completely opposite direction. We’re so fearful of failure that we have to have things done for us, we can’t make a fire and a metal bowel to boil water, we need a jug that would do it perfectly because that’s what it was made to do. No one has faith anymore, they don’t care if they’re wasting their abilities, they’re just scared of losing a fight when the only fight they’re participating in, is the one between themself.
It’s disheartening to know we don’t have any effect on the world anymore. We can’t turn back time and go in a different direction, we can’t just build another planet, another sun, and basically clones. We can’t do that and people are so scared for it, that they must make everything else. I know we’re all doomed. Why can’t everybody just accept that? and then once we get passed the fact we’ve failed, maybe then we can go back to how life operated in the more simple times when technology wasn’t invented.

Introducing Jace

I stared at the white feather that lay peacefully in my hand, I took it in-between my fingertips and stroked the soft bristles until they over crossed with each other, making it’s form far less than perfect.

Just like my life.

I used to trust everybody’s judgement, even as a kid I would follow the rules, which were always set by those who stood before me at six feet tall. Back then you asked no questions, if you did you’d be sitting on your bed holding back tears that were just eager to come out because of the red strips that lay across your backside.

“Jace?” A soft voice crept over my shoulders. I closed my eyes and for a moment let the feeling of something nice rush through me.

“Hi Ivy” I replied turning my head to face the beautiful woman standing before my eyes.
“Are you okay?” she asked with pure sincerity. I didn’t expect nor deserve such respect.

“I-I’m fine, thank you for asking” I replied, I felt idiotic, my words never sounded as thoughtful as hers did. Maybe it was God telling me I’m not worthy of her presence. Well I can’t judge him. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what I am worthy and not worthy of.

“That’s good to hear” Ivy replied, I knew she was forced to come here, her will wasn’t free for a choice such as this one.

I had no option but to turn my attention back to the dismantled feather I had subconsciously destroyed in our short conversation.

“I don’t…know what to say to you, Jace” Ivy admitted. She turned to leave, and when my chance came to stop her, to change her mind. I let her go. I too, did not know what to say, therefore I did not find it important to blubber out nonsense.

I turned back to her presence and watched her leave, as I lay in my pool of disbelief and self pity. What a pathetic excuse for a man I kept saying to myself. They should have just left me there to die in the torturous pain I deserved.

I Hate People

I really fucking hate them. They’re useless, they overpopulate, they murder, they rape, they molest, they abuse, they torture, they’re greedy, selfish, irresponsible, guilt-free, lazy, and so goddamn fucking pathetic.

Eye’s Falling Over Me.

I can’t remember where those lyrics are from, but I always randomly start singing them.

So last night I watched The Number 23, and being the nob that I am, did not see the number anywhere after watching.
I think people need to chill out and stop being superstitious.
Everything could add up to every number if you add or subtract in specific ways.

But meh… I want to go see Cloverfield oneday before it disappears from the theatre.
The last movie I saw which I was dragged to (and glad I was) was Transformers. That was a pretty good movie, alot better in the theatre rather than anything else though.

Anyway, I loved The Blair Witch Project, and the fact it felt so real because of the cheap filming techniques, as if being passed around in a documentry.
That’s what makes a movie so intreguing and the feeling as though you’re watching a true story.
I can’t imagine if Cloverfield will be any better than tBWP though, because all it has is monsters and what not, in tBWP you don’t really know what is doing everything that it is.
It’s just great.

Anyway I need to go to the ladies.

…

How the heck does an aeroplane & helecopter collide?

Things I need to do today…

• 8:30am – 12:00pm
  Feed the chickens
  Take Teddy to the field
  Ring up the lady next door and ask if she still has the Dove for sale
  If she does, go buy the Dove
• 12:00pm – 2:00pm
  Do some training with Ted
  Give the birds a bath (well I might)
  Start on my story

Hide

HIDE

When I was young, I would close my eyes.
I used to pretend the world couldn’t see me then.
But with a tap on the shoulder, I would break from my trance,
Eyes would peer straight through me, staring at every bit of my insides.
All I wanted was to be invisible, was to hide, was to disappear.
But they always reappeared, and so did I.

Why can’t life be…

Simple?
We give so much to it, but what do we eventually get back? death? sickness? disabilities and bad luck?
To be honest, I’m slightly (just slightly) looking forward to something bad happeneing to the world.
I want people to suffer in the same way they’ve made others suffer. I want there to be som huge disaster which will make people think twice about the road they had decided to take.
I’ve done my fair share of things that have costed me some harsh consiquences, but never in my entire life have I killed any living creature intentionally. I have never tortured anybody, I have cursed and wished bad things upon some, but that doesn’t always mean my bad wishes will actually come true.
And if they do, why don’t the good ones come true also? the ones that actually mean something.

You know, people go on about that if we all followed the 10 commandments then the world will live in peace, and people would treat eachother with kidness and respect.
But that is completely false, even if EVERYONE followed them, there will always be at least 1 person who would have different thoughts.
People eventually explode if they hold their anger and frustration in for too long, people get hurt because of it, and the ones who don’t bother to listen to them in their time of need, walk away without a scratch, pysical or not.
It’s always the people who do no good to the world, it’s always them who get the good things in return for their pitiful behaivour.
I’m not going to go off and boast about myself here, but I have been a pretty decent person growing up, I’ve helped many people, I’ve taught things, aswell as learned them, I’ve cooperated in unimaginable situations, and I have always done well when I was at school.
But now, I am left scrunging around for a job, to get enough money to live on, I’m left with a Mother who has serious emotional problems, and I’ve been given a load myself to deal with.

Whilst my brother, who to put in the nicest way possibly is a complete fucking asshole, is left with a baby and a wife, and grandparents as well as other family members who love him to bits, and shower him with money and things whenever he needs them.
Me… I know 2 people in my family, my Uncle and my Grandfather. The rest just don’t make an effort.
It’s pitiful really.

Believe it or not, I’m not an emo, in fact I’m a pretty happy person to say the least, despite some problems here and there, but if I’m depressed it’s because I have a reason to be, just like if I’m happy.
But one thing in life I cannot stand is people, I hate them, call me horrible and closed minded (which I probably am) but the way they treat the world, they way they treat eachother is horrible, I can’t stand it, and to be honest, there needs to be more illness’s to kill off the human race. Why can’t animals and nature have it all back, they get treated like 3rd class because they’re smaller than us and they can’t speak our language.
Our problem is we can’t accept different cultures in our lives, we’re racist and pathetic. I know that, because I’m pretty much racist too.
Want to know why?

All I ever hear about other races, is all the bad things, I hate the Japanese because they kill whales and are all about the money, I hate black people because they’re always angry and beat people up, I hate American’s because all they do is eat shit food and expect to have pity.

But it’s not true, not all true anyway, all we ever get is the bad news.

Lonely Dove

LONELY DOVE 

White wings spread so wide,
A soft breeze taking the weightless creature off it’s feet,
Off the snow covered gravel road,
and into the frosted sunrise.

Eyes peeled on his single destination,
His hope to find love, and peace,
He chooses where he goes,
His will is free,
But he follows his wonderous instincts,
Which takes him to the one thing that he has been waiting for.

Once he finds his landing spot,
He takes a deep breath and coo’s like he’s never done so before,
And as he waits and watches so eagerly,
He is lonely no more,
as his feathered love discovers his soft voice,
Calling her to him.

The Megalodon

The Megaladon (Big Tooth)

What not many people realise, is that 95% of the ocean is left unexplored.
Who knows what could still venture beneath our feet?

(next bit taken from Wiki)

The megalodon (pronounced /mɛɡlɑːdɒn/ or meg-la-don; meaning ‘big tooth’ or in Greek as μέγας ‘οδόντος) is a giant prehistoric shark that probably lived between about 16 to 1.5 million years ago, and was the apex predator in its time. It is recognized as the biggest known carnivorous fish to have ever existed. It is often termed the “megatooth shark”. The classification of this shark is currently under dispute and a new genus has been proposed for this shark. Fossil records reveal that the megalodon fed on large animals including the early whales.

Some cryptozoologists argue that this shark might still be alive in this modern age, probably living in the deep waters, and often cite the examples of coelacanth and megamouth shark to support their claims. But such beliefs are considered to be false and lack sufficient credibility. Still, C. megalodon has left a lasting impact on the minds of the people around the world, as a highly fascinating monster, which is evident from the popular culture.

JAW SIZE

LINKS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2JpZCcidIw